The days did pass, and although I could not see any light just after the accident, I could see that Jan was
getting a wee bit more optimistic, and I thanked God for sending his friend Peter to stay, as that helped a lot to bring a little perspective back into his shattered life.
And the fact that Irma was staying for a whole month was also good for him, as the two of them sat talking for ages, trying to sort out the mysteries of life, and why some things happen, things that we find totally uncalled for. He started to take more interest in the baby, and Andreas with his courage I think was a lesson to all of us who walked around wondering what on earth the future would bring.
My whole life was also disrupted, as I just had to cancel all my own plans, and as financially I actually had to go and work still, I knew that I would have to pull my belt in quite harshly for I couldn't see how I would ever got away in the next year or two.
As Jan worked from home, he had to go to Johannesburg about twice a month for a couple of days, and as we had no family around, and nobody that was prepared to look after the wee Emil every time, it fell onto my shoulders to do it, not that I minded in the least, as that is what mothers do!
The day arrived that Irma had to go back to Belgium, and I felt so forlorn when we stood at the George airport waving her off, as from now on it was Jan, me and Andreas, with baby Emil at Haarlem, and Jan did look like crying again when Irma walked through security.
But Jan's friend Nico, who stood behind him all the time had come to the airport to give him support, and for that I would always be very thankful, as I knew how Irma's going was upsetting him.
Rene's school ruled that he could have the rest of the term off, but to my thinking it was the worst thing that could be done, as he just sat in his room playing computer games. Teenagers are so egoistic, and I was shocked to the core when Rene told me that one good thing about all this, was that now he could play the games that he was never allowed, on his mother's computer, but realized that as a sixteen year old, and so shocked, he might not really have grasped the fact that his mum was not coming back!
Jan had to go to Johannesburg shortly after Irma left, and I was left with Andreas in his casts, Rene who was very antagonistic when I told him to come out of the room and do something to help me, the baby who was a little angel, the roaming Mobi, and the pig who was behaving extraordinarily, and was quite agro. The chickens were the only ones behaving, as they ate their food, and scrubbed around the whole day, and poor Laika, who was Nina's dog, was just a wee ghost, walking around without purpose, looking very, very dejected!
Rene was supposed to feed the animals, but wasn't getting out of bed till lunch time, and of course Andreas, who was quite eager to help, couldn't, so between the baby, the animals and the kids, I was in bad shape, running up and down.
It was at this time that I was waiting to go into Tygerberg hospital for some tests for my heart, as when I went to the doctor with the flue, he picked up something that worried him, and made an appointment with a cardiologist, who had a look at me, and announced that I had to go for further tests. Botheration!
I was feeling very tired after two days of running around, specially when I had to take to the road looking for the errant Mobi and bring him back, that I was getting a wee bitty short tempered, and yelled at Rene to lift his sorry ass and come and help me look for the dog! Of course I felt bad immediately, but it had a good effect on him, and he actually got out of his bed.
I still think it would have been better for him to go back to school, where he would be occupied, and not just lie around torturing himself or playing computer games.