Jan informed me that he had to go to Johannesburg again for his work shortly, and would be away for three days, and I point blankely refused to look after his animals again, as the ten days just spent racing after the errant dog, the villagers's threats and entreaties, and the bally pig that wanted to chew me up, I just did not see my way open!
So Jan very hastily started phoning around for somebody to slaughter the pig, and the next day a small truck arrived, loaded with another pig and two sheep, all to be slaughtered. The woman who came, a big busted, big armed, and heavy legged kind of an Amazon, was very business like, and on me telling her that Kevin Bacon was one devilishly rude and nasty pig, she looked at me as if she found me extremely silly, and with a stride that would put any army sargeant major to shame, she made her way to Kevin's sty with a very thin looking rope.
Of course Kevin started squealing immediately she tried to put the rope around his neck, telling Jan that pigs are quite docile once she had done her magic! Not so our dear Kevin, who must have realized that his last hours had come poor thing, and he just sat down on his haunches, and started squealing like he was put into a bally torture chamber, or a bath of boiling water before he was killed.
The Amazon neatly threw her knotted rope around Kevin's head, then pulled and squealed almost as loudly as the pig, and when she could not even move the pig, she put her fingers to her lips, and gave one hellish whistle that brought the man standing at the truck to help load the pig running like an Olympic sprinter, and she told him to get into the sty and help her pull. The poor man, who was quite lightly built, was not amused, and he stood trembling outside the gate watching the long yellow teeth that stuck out from Kevin's screaming mouth. But our man was more afraid of the Amazon, as when she let rip with some pretty harsh words, he went to her side, where the two of them made no headway with the pig, and after a while, with sweat dripping from her forehead, she gave up and looked at Jan for suggestions.
He looked quite blank, so I suggested some food, but, I said, I didn't know if it was a good idea, and told her about Kevin biting me to get to the bowl. The lady was all fired up again, and Jan fetched a blue plastic bucket with food, and the Woman then told the man to take the rope, and she would walk ahead with the food! Of course I knew what a bally gluttonous monster Kevin was, and the three did not get far when Kevin decided that he wanted the food NOW, and started running, making his leader jump about six feet before letting go of the rope and taking to his heels!
The woman was staunch, and held the bucket just high enough for Kevin to smell the food inside, but of course, although she proclaimed herself well known with pigs and their ways, she never met the likes of Kevin, who opened his mouth wide and bit her on the thigh, same as he did me, and she dropped the bucket, and Kevin had a feast while she stood howling like a lone wolf!
After the pig cleaned out the bucket, he gave a satisfied grunt, and walked calmly up to a very bemused Jan, who stood like a statue, I think for the first time realizing what I went through. Jan got out of his trance, and told the by now heavily traumatized woman that maybe he should lead his pig to the truck, and try to get him to walk up the ramp, and none of us was unmoved when the pig followed Jan up to the truck, and then up the ramp. I was immensely glad to see the last of the now nicely boxed in Kevin Bacon!