I sometimes am much amused by the things the Haarlem people got up to, and the wonderfully colourful language they use. Although we all speak Afrikaans, they use the most unusual phrases and words, and make our language something special
One day Sheila came to visit, and giggling uncontrolably, she told me of a squabble between Larry, a guy living further up the road, and his neighbour, a very upright and churchgoing pillar of the community, aunt Sarie, across the road. Now Larry lives in a small stone cottage, with not one window to be seen from the road, and I don't know if maybe there was a window on the back. It apparently also had only one door, and all this closing up was because he had this phobia of people stealing from him. Larry was one of the few people in Haarlem who actually cared for his animals, as to most people here, a horse is for riding or ploughing, a cow is for milking, and a dog's only passport to be alive was that he guarded the houses. I had many a fight with Danny, a guy living a bit down the road, who had a small dog of some mystery breed tied down with a short rope underneath an old and rusted truck canopy. This little thing had no way of escape from the heat building up under that trap, and my granddaughter had  many fights with him over that. When I first called on them to beg to loosen the little thing, they were very surprised, and said they can't loosen him, as he will wander, and who will do the guarding then! We put fresh water in a bowl every day when they went out, and gave it a bone to chew on as he must have been so bored! Kristani had the SPCA out a few times, one of these for a horse that was pulling a plough, his mouth bleeding as the bit was a piece of steel wire! The horse was taken away, and my granddaughter became a hateful figure, who started working with the SPCA to better the lot of the animals. Not all were ignorant of the needs of their animals, and one of these was mad Larry, as he was called. Every day as dusk falls, he would take his two fat pigs for a walk up the road, and his dog and cattle, as well as his chickens were healthy and happy.
The reason I think Larry took his pigs for a walk, was for them to make a poo, as he slept in his cottage with all his animals inside with him, believing that if they were outside, they would be stolen! Cow dung smells kind of earthy, and I could maybe sleep with cows, but I just can't imagine the stench if the pigs let go of a heap or two, specially as there were no windows to open!
So, apparantly Larry had accused aunt Sarie of trying to steal one of his hens, and they were shouting the most colourful obscenities at each other across the road, until Larry ran out of rude things to say to his neighbour, and taking a deep breathe, as this was the most terrible thing in their culture to tell a woman, he shouted at the top of his voice: 'Your pênty stinks!' Aunt Sarie gave a bellow that almost shook the mountains before clearing the fences at a gallop, and tried to strangle the gleeful Larry!
In the meantime I had started cutting some young branches down to try and strengthen the fence, as The cattle, horses and donkeys were all very casually walking straight over the fence, flattening it ever so nicely, and many a day I wanted to shoot the lot when they got into my garden.